So I know it's been a while. Most of you keep up on facebook anyway haha but I am day 17 after my bone marrow transplant. I actually got to go home (our new home...we moved, it's great) for all of like a day and now I am back at the James. I have some symptoms that could be nothing or could be graft vs host disease so they are monitoring me. Being home that short time I was so shocked at how much strength I have lost.
I had to do something today that I don't like doing. I'm having to ask for help. I am so used to being independent, keeping up, doing things for myself. I never ask people to help, but lately that feels like all I am doing. My Aunt Rindy is always taking Lillia with me being in the hospital and James needing to do this or that. It's hard. I feel like a bad mom and now today I've had to ask family to come over to essentially babysit my and my daughter once James goes back to work. I hate putting my problems on others. I was so convinced when I got home I would feel good and I could do it.But knowing now that's not true is frustrating. I am just thankful and blessed that I do have people in my life that will help when I need them. I know this won't last forever, but giving up control and not doing things for myself ESPECIALLY taking care of my daughter is really hard for me.
I know this is a short blog but I just needed to vent and say thank you to my support system. Take care and enjoy the day,
Heather
