So as my hubby reminded me recently..it has been a while. He threatened to remove me from his bookmarks! Can't have that. Luckily I was kinda inspired the other day by some comments/facebook statuses.
When it comes to my experience with cancer (and I know I said I was gonna move a bit away from that yet here we are again...sorry) I have gotten some interesting comments made to me. One is the comment made after being upset about something. The "be happy you're here and alive" type comment. There have been a few statuses I've come across too that were thought provoking. Here are my thoughts:
If anyone is to know how happy and lucky I am to be here it is me. If you think I don't realize that you are off your rocker. I deal with that though about a thousand times a day. Every time I get a new bruise, a headache, feel a bit off for no apparent reason. I know and am reminded that I am lucky to be here. When you come that close to not being here...you don't forget it. HOWEVER I am still a human being. I am going to feel frustration and sadness and all that comes with that. It doesn't mean I am taking my life for granted. It means I am choosing to live it and telling cancer to kiss off, it can't control me. And what's more 98% of the time I AM positive and happy. Probably annoyingly so LOL.
Also, just because you know me and I went through this thing (and yes I'll be the first to tell you it was probably my version of hell) doesn't make things going on in your life any less sucky. Use my story to inspire you? yes please! That makes it all worth it. But don't stop living your life and feeling things because someone out there has/had it worse. Someone will always have it worse. We can't live our lives this way and I refuse to subscribe to that philosophy. Should we keep perspective sure but should we refuse to feel rough when we're sick, or when our car breaks down etc...no. We're human. Crappy situations happen, we have to feel them!
Lastly I was inspired by a friend's status the other day. It was along the lines of how sometimes life feels like it drags out and how is one supposed to live when that happens. This got under my skin a little. Like I said, something bad happens...sure, feel it. But don't regret an entire life. You push through, set goals, achieve them, then set new ones until you're cold! Because you owe it to yourself! Maybe it's my life philosophy/religious views (or lack there of if you prefer) that set me a bit heel on this, but I think...this is it. We get one shot. Nothing gets better from here. So why not make the most of it. Be you (be damned of what others think), be happy, change the world for those here after you go. That's all we got so we have to make it count. ESPECIALLY when it can be ripped out from under us so fast.
I feel like I may have rambled here a bit. I hope you'll forgive me. I woke up at 5:30 this morning ;) haha. But I hope there is a message here you can take away. Live your life so you regret nothing. That includes feeling things that aren't always positive, but don't dwell in it. Keep perspective, keep moving, and be inspiring. Love you guys and thanks for reading : ) ~H
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