What candy,juice detox,and the gym have in common

They're in this blog! haha...ok ok I'm sorry. I was having trouble coming up with a title. So hey pretty people haha :) How's it goin? I hope you're doing well! We just celebrated trick-or-treat here. My daughter is going through a "strawberry shortcake" phase. What little girl hasn't gone through that phase? How long has that character been around?... So being the nerd I am I googled it and it has been around since the 1970's! Started out as a greeting card. Hmm who knew? Anyway LOL... she wanted to be strawberry shortcake this year. Some of my favorite memories/costumes were the ones my dad made for me so I thought it would be cool to make hers. I think it turned out well...

It was super easy. I put the patches on a plain white shirt. sewed on the ribbon. Sewed elastic to fit her waist and did slip knots with the tulle for the skirt. Some face paint, tights, and red hair spray was all it took to complete the costume. She had so much fun and so did I. We went out for about an hour and her bucket was full to the brim. We came home, warmed up and she slept very well haha. My dad and I had another tradition of watching scary movies so I turned on a very old school black and white Dracula movie. Very cool. I can't wait to share that with Lillia when she gets older. I hope you all had a great time too. 

This is a little bit different, but I'm planning on doing a juice detox in the next few days. I've been reading a lot about the benefits in general, but also for those coming off of chemo and radiation. Even way after the dose, the chemo can stick in your body for a while and cause side effects and just not be good for the body. The juice detox helps to rid your body and help you to start feeling better. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll let you know how it goes and how I feel after. Feel free to share your thoughts!

In line with the health thing, a friend of mine is a personal trainer at the gym I go to and has offered to help me focus on getting some strength back. That will be really cool. I've been in and out of there a lot but my consistency has always been lacking(hince not much progress and then with the in and out of the hospital thing :P pitiful). I think this will help me get on a more stable routine and I'm looking forward to what he has planned to help push me past what I was already doing too. I'll keep you updated on my progress. Kind of an accountability thing if you don't mind :)

I have some yummy clean recipes in mind to make (I've made a couple already)..I'll share all those in an upcoming blog :) Thanks for reading. I hope I didn't bore you too much ;) Take care, talk to you next time ~H

Bone marrow results and what comes next

A friend of mine sent me a very sweet comment on facebook not too long ago that said she was looking at my pics and thought my daughter was cute. (I agree, but I may be biased ;) ) This made me want to take a trip down memory lane so I pulled up my pics and was looking through them. I came across this pic:

This is a picture of my daughter and I at the dinosaur exhibit. We were "mining" for gold. It was taken before I had any idea about the leukemia. I'm not even sure why, but my first reaction to the smiling faces in this pic was to feel sad for them. Almost like the woman there wasn't me, but just a pic of someone I had heard about. "They don't even know what's about to hit them" is kind of how it felt. What a happy moment t his picture was though. I'm not sure why this was my first reaction. Maybe some residual guilt? Some lasting feelings of anger and resentment of a disease that took my beautiful world and shook it like a snow globe. What I love though, is that in true fashion, my husband just today posted this pic to his wall with the title "my world". As much as things have changed, the most important things in life have not. There is still such love, positivity, and happiness between our little family. That's what this picture shows and that's why I love it so. The girls in this pic may not know what's ahead, but they are so happy because they know that no matter what does come..life will still stay good.

On April 3rd I went to my Dr. having strange symptoms. Bruising, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, headaches, lethargy. She took blood. On April 4th I was told to go straight to admitting and that night I was told I had leukemia and was transferred to OSU James cancer center for a month stay of chemo, bone marrow biopsies, fevers, weakness, gaining of friendships, regaining of strength, an unwaivering positivity, and a reminder of unconditional love. Following that were months of back and forth hospital stays. Through it all here we are. Changed for the better. Life will never be the same for me. I will always carry this with me. With every bruise, illness, weakness, I will be worried it's coming back. But like my husband said I'm back at square one. My odds are the same. I cannot sit on the couch worrying away life. I have to live it ESPECIALLY because it could come back and if I don't make it, I don't want to go out with could have beens. I almost like that there's a bit of the mind game there, because it's a constant reminder of how precious these moments are.

On that note, I have GREAT news! I got my marrow results back and I am officially leukemia free!!!!!! I think it's still sinking in a bit. I've spent the better part of a year living and breathing fighting this thing. It's over. We did it. It feels great. I've said it a thousand times, but that's only because I mean it so much: I could not have done it without all of the support from family and friends so THANK YOU. So what from here? I live. I want to take this from leukemia focused to life focused. Because that's what it is now. Like I said, I have spent the better part of a year being nothing but leukemia. I am ready to move on. I will still be posting about cancer related things, because it will always be a part of my life, and I will always have to keep monitoring my health in that area, but I want to post about things I love and things going on in my life. I hope that's ok :) I hope you'll stick with me.

Thanks for reading! ~H

Since the chemo...my 4th bone marrow biopsy

Hey everyone :) I hope you all are well! So what's new? I think the last we talked I had just gotten done with my last round of chemo. Well, I ended up with another infection in my line from that. I was really sick. I had a fever and with this one I got really weak and tired. So needless to say I went back to OSU. They put me on antibiotics and I stayed for a few days.

I hate when this happens (that is, infection in the line) because it means they have to take it out and put a new one in. I have crap veins these days anyway from all this so it's not good news. They take it out, but they still need access for medicine and blood for testing and what not so they stick and stick and stick...trying to get an IV in. It always ends up the same way. With me telling them to leave me alone for a while. (Putting it nicely). This time was no different. They stuck and stuck..finally got one in but they wanted two. Well before they could try for the second the Dr. came in to take my line out (no big deal just the one connected to my heart lol). No sooner than he was walking out of the door, the nurse was coming back in and tying on the tourniquet! It's like they think I'm a pin cushion! Ah well, just part of the game. ; ) I survived and that's the main thing. They put a new line in and sent me home on IV antibiotics ..that was that.

In other news I went for my bone marrow biopsy yesterday as well as my line removal. I was extremely nervous. For those of you that have been reading, the first two of these I had were not that bad and I said that. They also gave me good drugs for those. The third one all they gave me was ativan. That was miserable and probably the worst pain I've ever been in. SO this time I was so scared it was going to be that way again. I told the nurse practitioner that and she gave me ativan and dilauted. They pushed the dilauted slowly because of my chest pain last time. It was nerve wracking but man did it do the job! I remember a couple instances of like AH! stop that! lol but other than that it was just pressure that I felt. I'll take it! My husband was there and he is always a calming force for me. Oh and not only did the drugs work for the procedure, they worked for the WHOLE day LOL. I was talking to my husband this morning and there are holes in my memory. I find this intriguing. I hope I didn't do anything stupid ; )

Today I'm feeling pretty much back to normal. My hip is really tender but that should go away in a day or two. It is really nice to have my line out too. Since April every time I wanted to shower I would have to get either an aqua guard or saran wrap and go forth in a 5 min procedure of taping my chest up. It will be nice to just be able to get in. Don't take that for granted! LOL.

Anyway, in between the fever and the biopsy we went to the light the night walk as well as celebrated my daughter's 4th birthday. Life is moving on and I am so glad to be here for it. The walk was beautiful and I am really glad my family and I went. My daughter and I got our faces painted, there were the lit balloons, and a nice ceremony to remember those lost and those who have survived blood cancer. Then the main walk. For my daughter's birthday we took her to chuck e cheese's and later had cake and presents with the family. All the celebrations throughout these 6 months have taken on such a special new meaning for me. My daughter's birthday is no different. She is so beautiful. I am lucky to be here to celebrate another milestone in her life.

I got back to the gym all last week and it felt great. It felt like..normal (whatever that is). I have lost a lot of strength, especially after that last infection, but I know I'll get it back. I think it will be even more satisfying actually. Well, now I just wait for the results of the biopsy. I should have them Thursday when I got back to see my Dr. Then she told us (or rather my husband, this is one of the holes I mentioned earlier) that if they are good I will come back every two months for blood work. That's it. I'll keep you updated. :) I hope things are well with all of you and thank you for reading. It means a lot to have a place to throw everything out there. Take care and talk to you soon!